Monday, July 18, 2011

Trashy TV: Jersey Shore News

Well it almost that time... and no I don't mean for the weather to finally get great, or for the horse races to begin.  In just a few short weeks, we will all finally get to see our favorite motley crew parade around their self proclaimed homeland of Italy.  Jersey Shore Season Four, which was shot in Italy against the approval of basically the whole country, is set to start showing the 4th of August on MTV.  Since they returned from their enchanting Euro-trip just a weeks months ago, the cast has - as usual - been up to no good.

Jenni "J-WOWW" Farley has launched an inappropriate clothing line appropriately named Filthy Couture.  The line will feature skanky ensembles typically found in a sex store or online at a Halloween costume site.  Filthy Couture's website has been taken down, allegedly due to trademark issues.  What a bust!

Not to be out done by his old fling, Pauly D has also launched a clothing line, not-so-creatively dubbed Dirty Couture.  Just last week, the DJ gone Designer posted a Craigslist ad looking for college students/recent grad's to intern for his new company.  For those of you in the unemployment pool, this could be your big chance!!! Requirements for applicant submission are resume, headshot & photo, tanlines at lest 8 gradients darker than natural coloring, and an obnoxious accent.

I won't even waste time talking about Sam & Ron's most recent break up, as they will probably be back together in their nightmare love affair before this blog even gets published.

The nation's favorite cast member to hate, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, is apparantly facing a FAT lawsuit from his former management group, Gotham NYC Entertainment.  According to TMZ, Gotham NYC claims The Sitch breached his contract when he fired them in May for "lack of performance".. According to them, Sorrentino was required by the contract he signed with them back in 2009, to provide 30 days notice before terminating services, which he did not do.  The jury is still out on what will happen next, but I am sure he will just star in another pro-abstinance commercial to pay out his settlement.

Some serious drama in the house caused Vinny Guadagnino to pack up and leave the house during recent filming of the fifth season back at the shore house.  They started filming just one week after returning from Italy, and after a week of filming, Vinny was seen leaving the house in the middle of the night in a cab with all of his suitcases after allegedly getting in a fight with one of his castmates.  Sources connected to the show have also told TMZ that Guadagnino has been a pain in the a** and no one would be getting on their knees, begging him to comeback to the show.  All rumors aside, the reality star enjoyed dinner and drinks Saturday night at the shore with his former roommates, who strategized getting him back into the house after leaving (sources allude to this maybe being fueled by homesickness... poor baby!)  Until the following season airs however, we will not know for sure whether or not they will need another loud freckly meatball to replace a fallen castmember.

The phenomenon that is Snooki has been charging forward full speed ahead since her debut on the trashy TV show.  At the end of the third season, she was bound for home with an arsenal of new experiences (and championship titles) under her belt, and set out to write a book.  Her novel, A Shore Thing, is on the New York Times Best Sellers List, yet has been critically acclaimed as one of the worst books of all time.  She has yet to divulge to the public the release of her not-very-anticipated sophomore book Gorilla Beach, but I am sure it will be a reall page turner.  But Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's entrepreneurial spirit doesn't end there!  This year, the beloved Jersey Shore castmate launched a line of slippers called Snooki Slippers, followed by a line of pickle print flip flops. Her recent interview with WWD's Footwear Daily gave us some insight into the genius mind of the reality super star:

I never leave home without: “Bronzer and pink lipstick.”

Funniest person I know: “Myself.”

If “The Snooki” were a cocktail, the key ingredients would be: “Pickle juice, vodka and wine, [and it] would have a little umbrella.”

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